Pleak's Story

College Grad CSC. Fisherman. Dancer. Beatboxer. 23.
Young and Gettin It

Browsing through old “love” posts

"What love does to me.

I really do have feelings for this one girl, she has been on my mind ever since. So what is it that really attracts me to her? Simply, her hair is something I can’t describe, it’s nothing crazy but there’s something about it that just gets me hooked to her. I wish I could describe exactly on how it looks but it’s not curly nor straight and it’s like layered I think. She has a cute little smile that would lighten my day up. Her eyes are something I can’t seem to get away from and her voice is like music to my ears. She’s simply amazing and the fact that she’s very intelligent and a nursing major I just know she’s a hard worker from the start. I’d like to ask her to hang out or a date to the carnival, but as usual, I fear of rejection. Would it be me or the fact that there are other things going on with her life just in case that happened? So what happens if she has a boyfriend? Haha, I hope not because that will give me another reason to seek out another girl whom I’ve yet to encounter. Almost everyday now, I have butterflies in my stomach and my heart feels so damn heavy as if I’m in heaven. Could this be love? Well, I sure feel it. It could be to good to be true with this one special girl who I admire the most with all my heart.”

Haha, I laugh at this now and this was the first girl I’ve ever tried asking out in my life. This is something I could talk about, one of my favorite stories of me catching the butterflies. Yeah, I found out she had a boyfriend so there it was. I wasted time and energy trying to get that motivation to ask her out.

Five Years of Growing

This was something I wanted, to be social, out-going, living life like no tomorrow, that energy, that spark to light up the day.
Because of my friends and the motivation I had to become a better person, this is who I am now.
Here’s the new me, in 2012, the night had ended and I still wanted to dance more.
Old me back in high school, 2007. Shy, self-conscious, big-time gamer nerd, didn’t even dance at the wedding which was at an aquarium!!!
As of 2012, I’m loving the person who I am today.

That girl who you can’t get enough of.

I figured out that the more I wrote the more things I was able to accomplish. Since it’s gearing towards the end of the semester I’m in this same position as if it was Spring of 2010. When the weather is warm out, beautiful college girls everywhere and that one girl in my class who caught my attention.

Since it’s 2012, I have fallen for this one girl, damn-it. Not again, lol. I know that feeling and it’s happening again. The butterflies in my stomach every time I see her, just hearing her voice makes me melt inside. She’s one of the few girls I’ve been really attracted to. Yeah, it’s been a while.

Today my geology professor handed back the exams and the scores were disappointing. He said “these are the worst exam scores ever since 5 years of the class.” OUCH!!! Yep, he was not in a good mood.

During lab the class had to walk towards Forest River Park to learn about igneous rocks. As we are walking, I’m always having fun where ever I go and I joke around with my professor saying, “”Don’t cross the road Doug, the light says DO NOT CROSS!!”

He said, “Thanks for watching my back Peter, even after what happened this morning.” Yeah he lectured us, bleh bleh bleh and gave us a chance to correct our exams and turn them back in for half credit. WORD!!

I tell him, “Don’t worry, I got your back because I keep it real out here” and he appreciates what I tell him. I felt good after that.

All of a sudden I see that girl whom I’m writing about, turn her head back, smiling as she made eye contact with me. Yep she did it again down the road. I’m a sucker for not trying to talk to her, but look this is during class time, surrounded by all my other classmates. I want to approach her after class and time is running short. Time to man up and try to get what I want.

Reflection

Back to writing about school even though the semester is over. I plan on reflecting what I did this semester / year and better myself for the next. This fall of 2011 has been a bit iffy. Half way through the semester I lost all my motivation whatsoever. I was unstoppable to begin with until the end.

Seems like I just went off track and fell off the road.
So here are the things I’m going to work on throughout next year:

  • Work at the Computer Lab at school
  • Sit my ass down and finish all work ahead of time / before deadline
  • Ask questions and study hard before hand
  • Focus on developing better ties with other students
  • Little to NO Procrastination
  • Last of all be on top of all my shit, such as organizational skills, speaking, etc…

Doesn’t seem like much, but I know this will affect me greatly throughout my academic career.

In the mean time, I’m TOTALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO MY SPRING SEMESTER!! Cute college girls in their Spring outfits, sun dresses, short shorts…lol you name it. If only I could tell all of them how cute, adorable, pretty, stunning they look. I would, and I think I should. Besides that, I’m also taking REGULAR CLASSES!!! Time to step away from a computer for once and a bunch of dudes as a computer science major. :)

Oh, is she the one?

Haha, the silly things I do while at school…I reflect on my actions and I try to find things that I could work on, improve, or simply change for the good and so far everything has been spectacular I might say. I’ve shaped myself into a better person and I know that’s a fact. Now there are some more things I need to work on but that will come eventually. Step by step I’ll reach the next level.

Back on topic, while at school me and Steven would have breakfast with Rhun during the hour break we had after the 8AM class. I came up with this idea, “Let’s play a game that involves scoring with chicks?” Of course the rule is you get her number, talk to her, get her name, points and props go to you. Unfortunately, we were all being Bitch Ass Niggas, for short (BAN). LOL, I already knew what was going on and it wasn’t heading no where. We all had the “bitch butterflies” and every time we saw a girl sitting by herself, we would always make an excuse. We would say, “She’s cute,” or she’s “talking on the phone.” Stuff like that, you get what I’m saying?

So just recently, I told myself what is there to lose. If you see a girl you like just go for it and talk to her. Worst thing that could happen is you get rejected or she’s just not interested. Simply as that, I told Steven let’s play the game now. He’s like alright! So we point out our designated girl and Steven told me to go first. We got up the same time and I approached some girl and did my thing.

I had that boost of confidence and as I was walking I bumped into chairs and almost stumbled. I saw her smile so I just went for it. That leap of faith. I got up to her, took a seat and politely said, “Excuse me, I thought you were really cute and had to talk to you.” I asked her name and greeted myself. After this moment I’m like SHIT what do I say..I asked her if she was studying for finals and she said Yes. So I apologized and said, “sorry for bothering you and I said I’d like to talk to you sometime what is your number?”

I checked my pocket to pull out my phone and it was in my jacket all the way at the other damn TABLE!!!! >_< From there was when I crashed, I got ridiculously nervous and once I got back, I kind of choked up LOL. I told her sorry I’m nervous, and she was like me to… From there she asked me my name and number which was written on one of her power point notes.

So it’s been a few days and she hasn’t called me nor texted me. I guess she only asked me for my number to get over the nervousness I have caused lol. Oh well, lesson learned, there are plenty of fish in the sea. The trouble I go through to getting a girls number has not been successful since I’ve tried and ran into girls who have boyfriends. I guess I got rejected in a kind of a nice way? lol.

I found out that Steven didn’t approach the girl, he ended up walking to the bathroom. Bitch Butterflies at its best. Hahahahha..!

Well, better luck next time!

I used to be motivated from the start and finishing all of my work on time.As time progressed I started falling apart piece by piece. Passing in late assignments, stressing out, failing classes because life threw me a curve ball I couldn’t hit. Once I dug myself out of the hole everything was back to normal and my grades were up to par.

Now I’m in my third year of college with a declared concentration and that spark of motivation is just not kicking in any more. I ask myself now, “Did I make the right decision with Computer Science? I should of went to a different school and studies Astronomy.” I’m this far now and I know there’s no turning back I just need to finish what I started. I’m 100% sure that there are other college kids out there who are in my position and who may even have it worse than me. I guess I should be proud of the work I have accomplished? I seek for more benefits but I just can’t push myself anymore, which confuses me to hell. This semester is almost over I really need to find that key to unlock the cage I am in right now.

I just can’t find that motive that was within me when college began. I feel like my goals are drifting away and I can’t catch them anymore. I know it’s not to late and no way in hell am I failing this semester. Overall, I’m doing well above average but I have like 2-3 late assignments for one class, which is for my computer science course. And I also have these programming projects that are still incomplete. Now that’s another story lol.

Words of advice: What I can say is work your ass off, study, read, discover your potential and work at it. These words are my own and I wish somebody had pushed me to work harder and spend more time focusing in school. Yeah my family told me to do good in school and work hard, but that wasn’t enough….Now that I finally realized what I had to go through and the position I am in now, everything was learned the hard way.

Even though I started with a 3.6 GPA doesn’t mean that it will be the same forever. Overtime we do lose that spark within ourselves and it’s very difficult to just land on your feet again or dig yourself out of a hole.

I thought it was all easy up until now. Where oh where has my motivation gone off to?

There’s still something I’m missing…only time will tell.

Things I write and Things I do

For that one girl out there, this is for you.

10 sweet things I’ll do for you:

1. I’ll bring you fresh picked flowers I stole from someone’s yard.

2. I’d watch a chick-flick and pour my tears out without a doubt.

3. I’ll be the man to bring her ice-skating for the first time.

4. I’ll bring her on long walks alongside of the beach just holding her hands knowing that she’s all mine.

5. I’d sing her song even though my singing is not all that great.

6. I’ll even cheer you up if you’re feeling down.

7. I’ll push that extra mile just to see your face.

8. I’m a nerd at heart and superman standing by your side.

9. I’ll make you soup from scratch that will chase away all the bugs.

10. I’ll be there by your side when you need me most.

All of this for the first time. Now that’s what I call love.

It’s been a very, very, very long time since I have ever typed up anything on tumblr. Let’s see, where could I start?

I’m doing fairly good in school besides a new miss-haps due to procrastination and laziness. All seems well with what I am doing right now. I’ve been spending more time with friends from school and meeting new ones along the way. Once thing I noticed was, when it comes to seeking help, do it as soon as possible not at the very last minute. Even though it feels like I can do everything on my own it stops me from asking others for help. It’s been hurting me academically and I need to change that because we can’t always be independent right?

As for relationship-wise, there hasn’t been a girl whom I’ve yet poured my heart out to. I have not been making progress lately, because it seems like all the girls I asked out have a boyfriend already. Also, there are tons of girls out there but I’m just to shy many times and I don’t have the courage to man up and talk to them. I have the confidence but I’m just missing the key to actually just talk to some random girl I may find attractive. Well, I’m going to have to try harder and find that special girl, I know she’s out there somewhere. I’ll keep this topic posted and I’ll be sure to write about my results and outcomes.

I’m getting to the point to actually finding a girlfriend, because when I was young, wild and free (still am, lol), I told myself “I don’t need a girlfriend cuz I got my friends.” With this mindset, I have not dated any women nor had a girlfriend. As of now, I’m sick of my buddies and I need somebody to hold, love and cherish with all my heart.

Now that I’m older and attending college, I feel that I need to get in the dating scene because this is a good time to experience and find who the right girl is. It’s time to man up and go on my first date…!!

Motivation HIT me HARD —INSPIRED!

After my day was over, yeah that 8AM - 4PM Tuesday Schedule. I rushed to Marshalls to pick up some new dress pants since I wanted to look fresh, yah dig? Really, I didn’t want to iron my pants that were hanging in my closet at home. So it was about 5’oclock and I got ready as fast as I can. I’m talking about getting my tie ready around my neck, dress shirt tucked nice and snug and shoes within 10 minutes. Now that’s a freaking record. On this day I was on caffeine and that energy shot I took in the morning. HOLY SHIT this was like a thrill rush everything was pulsing based on the beats of my heart. It was insane lol, never again shall I try that combination.

Back to the story, got home and got ready and the scholarship reception started at 6PM. Left the house at 5:30, got lost for almost an additional 20-30 minutes. FUCKKK, got to the Danversport Yacht Club and it was pretty nice. It was like a huge ball room and everybody was seated and I got there sooo late, like atleast 40 minutes late when everybody was like almost done eating. Not only that I had a small stain on my favorite dress shirt. LAJSLFJS!! Thought everything was going bad, until that moment I was called up to the room and shook hands with the President of the school. Everything went smooth sailing after that.

As all the recipients were asked to stand up, we all received a huge round of applause. I’m not sure what the speakers were saying up on the podium but that and today has inspired me to stay motivated and work hard!!!!

I thought this was going to be a bad and horrrrribleeee day but overall I learned something very important. As difficult as the position I may be standing in, I can still turn it around and regain myself from the mistakes I made in the past.